I have been doing a lot of unpacking lately around the idea of quitting something. We have been bombarded with messaging that quitting is for losers and to dig deep and to pull ourselves up from the boot straps... I even looked up quotes about quitting only to discover even more gems that imply that there is no failure except in no longer trying.
But what if we have tried and tried and tried?
Now, of course, NOT quitting has its place. Perseverance is actually an attribute of mine that I am pretty proud of. Not quitting has served me well in my life when it came to arduous tasks. Rolling up my sleeves in relationships. Completing long projects. Tackling a daunting work project. Studying for the bar. Cleaning the house one room at a time. Or step by step, breath by breath, running marathons, or doing a challenging yoga practice. Anything, really, for that matter that I knew I wanted to accomplish. So this isn’t what I am referring to.
But what about quitting something that you know in your heart of hearts just isn’t right for you anymore? What if when we get quiet and truly sit with ourselves and ask those deep, profound questions like…
Is this truly serving me?
Have I given it the best of me?
What does my heart tell me?
What would I tell my closest friend?
Is it time to throw up the white flag and surrender?
Is it time to move on?
What is my truth?
...we realize that quitting or walking away with love is the exact right thing.
But it has to be with love.
These are the questions I ask myself when it comes to big, pivotal decisions, and these are the very questions I ask my sober coaching clients when they come to me. It can also apply to our yoga practice. After a nearly twenty-five year consistent practice, I have lovingly walked away from certain poses that have taught me great lessons but also no longer serve a purpose. We evolve. What we need, what fulfills us, what serves us changes over time. It is up to each of us to listen.
Sometimes we (I) cling so desperately to a romantic version of a relationship that we cannot see it for what it really is- something that may have worked for a period of time but just no longer does. Or something that has evolved into something else. What if that beautifully paired glass of wine with a gorgeous meal in reality is several nights in a row every week of many glasses, used to numb feelings, to escape, leaving us feeling like shit, depleted, exhausted, or, worse, ashamed? What if a night out with friends that seemed like no big thing back in the day now eats up the following day or even two for the body to bounce back? And what if numbing or drinking or putting alcohol in our bodies is just no longer in alignment with who we are? Or what if we are just curious and want to see what it feels like to take a break?
It doesn’t have to be a drama. But maybe, just maybe, walking away from something is the most radical act of self love.
Please see below an April sober curious offering, as well as several retreats. Also, please let me know if you think Steph and I should organize another bucket list trip to Bora Bora spring of 2022.